It's time for me to confess: the above two images are all I have produced in the past few weeks.
I don't know exactly where I lost my creative juice, my mojo, my creative flow, but if there's a hole in one of my creative paths there's often a sudden halt in all of them.
I read, I write, I make pictures, I edit pictures, I feed myself inspiration on Pinterest, I felt scarfs, I sketch ideas for future projects, I write... I wrote...
I'm not really writing anymore.
Damn.
Often, the flow comes from a schedule, even though that's counter intuitive for a person who is also always trying to be as free as possible from schedule in general.
- I don't set alarms to wake up on time
- I became a freelancer so I could get rid of the (to me) literally physically devastating office hours
- Before the idea of streaming services existed and everyone was still using a tv guide to see when their fav show would come on I QUIT watching tv because I hated the idea of 'having to sit on the couch on time just to watch a show'
I detest schedules. And yet I need them. I don't want to confess that.
Right before this Corona stuff I had spend quite a few months getting myself a schedule. Due to the limitations of my body I can't go outside each day but I had build towards a 'three times a week outside' rhythm: for Pilates and Yoga classes, often combining those with 'other stuff in the city'.
It worked: go outside Monday, recover physically Tuesday, go outside Wednesday, recover Thursday, and so on.
I didn't get to that schedule from week 1, I started with one outing a week, then added another, and then the third.
The 'recovery days' were then spend on either sharing stories about what I had experienced outside the house (a story, a picture, some idea that had entered my brain from that amazing movie I saw...), and/or for my felting practice which led to a pretty nice collection of wearable art.
Where did it go?
The schedule is gone. And instead of experiencing that as more time for creative stuff I don't do a lot of creative at all.
I read more though
That's something I had lost after University. I guess 4 years of reading 500 pages every 3 days, so about 1000 a week, took away some of the fun I had experienced before from reading books. I used to read so much that it drove people crazy. Some people don't understand it when a person can sit for 8 hours on a couch turning page after page after page. I'm not back to my pre-University levels of reading (probably averaging about 8 hours a day), but I'm reading 2-3 hours a day again - it's huge.
But so far it's all input. No output detected.
I'm not interested in telling you about the books I'm reading. And that's all I'm doing right now.
Oh, and doing groceries.
Yes, trying to get a delivery once a week is a job in itself
It's a constant chase for 'an empty slot' in the grocery delivery app - including the adrenaline high when I 'get in'.
Wow, my life is so exciting.
Hey, did I just write a post?
I guess I did. I liked it. I wrote it in one go. I put in bold sentences while I was writing. It felt like a nice rhythm. I started with the two images above - it's all I had on my camera roll. And now I feel like this has become a decent post.
I'll publish it. In a minute. Not knowing if I can write a post again tomorrow. I'm really struggling. Where to get my inspiration from? Where? Where are youuu?
I can't wait until someone sends me another bouquet of tulips by mail...
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