https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdHhpebYHzCGyqjB7PNq6yZWPYp89jrkQEjmoWnzTbYWG/roadtosteemfest.jpg
The first post I wrote in this 'Road to SteemFest' challenge was actually a huge burp of thoughts about all the fears I felt. I felt such deep fears about going to an event like this despite feeling limited at times due to my physical state. The first sentence I wrote was I noticed I had actual nervousness in my stomach when thinking about writing my real feelings about going to this event - and actually the post itself made me nervous since, well, being vulnerable on a platform as unforgiving as a blockchain is scary as hell. Plus, it was my first freewrite, ever.
I opened the post before starting to write this post since I remembered it was full of fears and I sort of wanted to see where I was back then, at my first freewrite, and now, months later, and only with one week to go before actually going to SteemFest. The post is available for you all to read here: https://steemit.com/roadtosteemfest/@soyrosa/the-road-to-steemfest3-or-just-a-trip-or-actually-quite-the-challenge
The funny thing is, I figured a lot of things out since then. So where others might have used this weeks post to be vulnerable for the first time, I was full on vulnerable from post one, and might have less to share now. I got so many overwhelmingly warm responses and writing these Road to SteemFest posts helped me immensely in creating the feeling we in fact are a family, we are already connected and getting to know one another, we already are aware of some of each others fears, challenges, insecurities...
I was offered a seat, if necessary even on the floor by @r00sj3 and @connecteconomy, @anomadsoul offered be my 'piggy ride' whenever necessary, and so many more people offered help in one way or another. Through all the posts I know I'll have some seat buddies in @raj808 and @llfarms and many others as well. I contacted @roelandp and he explained me in detail where we would have elevators, where we would not... And I now have a mental image in my mind of how challenging parts of SteemFest will be.
So what fears are left?
Well, all the things in the post I shared above still 'stand' but got softened by doing some research and knowing you all will be there with your own vulnerabilities and fears. The biggest fear I have left that is different from those I shared in the first post might be about where I stand now, as a human in constant development, as a human that got kicked back a few years, had and has to figure out a lot still, and my role in life in general and on Steem specifically.
Throughout my life I've always felt I'm too much of a 'Jack of all Trades' - never specialising in anything, always being somewhat skilled at a lot of things, and therefore never able to say 'I am this, I do that' because there's always someone more skilled. I am really bad at selling myself, and part of that comes from not really having one niche I feel most at home.
I am a photographer, yes, and I earn money from it outside of Steem and write about photography explicitly from time to time on Steem. But is 'photographer' the first thing you think about when hearing '@soyrosa'? Probably not. I'm a traveler, yes, because I'm always planning my next trip, but am I followed for my travel posts? Probably not. Am I a curator? Of course, I curate and felt bad last week because due to traveling I had my VP on 100% for at least a few hours. But do you know me as a curator? No. Am I an artist? Yes, I identify with this label more and more, but am I the first you think about when you think of an artists? Again, no.
So there I am, seeing all these names going to SteemFest and immediately knowing what 'label' to attach to them. But I feel I'm the one without a real label, something people identify me with, and I feel that's something I in a way need to get ahead in my Steem carreer and also in connecting with others at SteemFest through overlapping interests.
I'm actually holding myself to the freewrite challenge although I already want to backspace everything I just wrote because even writing it I feel it's not that defining, lol, and my need for getting a 'definition of me' is in a way even mirrored by this post that doesn't feel that distinctive at all.
Ah well. The plus of a Jack of all Trades is you can basically throw any idea or task at me and I'll probably say 'oh yes I can do that!', and I probably actually can. I honestly wish Jack of all Trades was a paid job. I'd buy you all your drinks at SteemFest if that were the case I'd be so rich :D
Return from The Road to SteemFest3: I'm a little bit of everything, but is it enough? to Rosanne's Web3 Blog
